"Beat"

I just needed to write so desperately this morning. The yearning for good writing has been welling up from the depths of myself. There are so many strange, often times otherworldly ideas floating about in my tired brain. Tired not in the sense of needing to sleep or even lack of sleep. In fact tired is not the word I am grasping for at all. Let's borrow a word coined by the likes of Jack the Buddha: Beat. The word of a generation, with almost as many meanings and interpretations as the bible. My mind is beat, in the sense of being worn out from toiling with these questions that have haunted mankind since the ancient of days. And we demand answers! But to our dismay these questions will never be answered in the concrete terms we would like them to be etched in. These questions are unanswerable in our current state of understanding. So in a sense these answers are relative, relative to the degree of beat-ness of your mind. However, the definition doesn't stop there. This term which was coined by the great master himself has deeper, hidden meanings if you dig deeper. Beat in the sense of beatific glory. A divine essence of beatitude, exalting you above this realm of mortal souls and revealing you in all your glory. This is the state of mind I strive for so painfully. So in a sense I suppose tired is an acceptable synonym, but it goes beyond that into total exhaustion. Exhaustion of all the paths to knowledge and all the energy required to tread those paths. To the point where nothing new is allowed to eneter the prism of mind and thus the self (mind included), like a crystal, reflects clearly and perceptibly the inner, absolute truth of said self.